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Morning Musings Blog

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Morning Musings
Welcome!
To a little experiment about mattering.

It’s a chemistry experiment, this human business of being. The chemistry experiment of mixing all the ingredients of life and observing the results moment by moment has an overall objective. The objective has been the same throughout recorded time for each and every one of our species.

Really it’s more an alchemy process than a chemistry process because we’re trying to take the day-to-day lumps of coal along with all the gems we find in the ups and downs of life and transform them into gold. No matter what the culture, no matter what the language, no matter what the race, no matter what the personality, we homo sapiens aspire to create gold. Our alchemy process is to turn the day-to-day seemingly valueless circumstances and situations into the gold of “happiness.”

This alchemy requires a magic ingredient and then a mixing and stirring of very concrete practices. That magic ingredient is what this blog is ultimately about. Mattering, that sense of making a difference in the world and knowing how to make a difference each day is the secret sauce, the magic ingredient. It requires the crucible of faith and the "muscles" of emotional intelligence that one by one we will take a look at and illustrate.

It's those muscles of emotional intelligence that will be the focus of day-to-day entries in this blog. Each post will relate to one of the seven "muscles" of emotional intelligence. So I need to give you just a little more context.

At INSPIRATIONWORKS we view emotional intelligence more like physical muscle building than studying to getting a high score on a test. Our physical muscles make up a complex system that allows us to walk, run, sit, stand, breathe, lift, bend, and many other actions to navigate our physical world.  There are tools like free-weights, universal gym, exercise bike, balance ball, to help tone your physical muscles.

If you want to play basketball well, you do a lot of drills in your practice sessions so that when it comes time to play the real game you can win based on the strength you've built and the muscle memory for effective dodging, weaving, running, blocking, passing, catching, and scoring.

The real game of day-to-day life takes metaphorical dodging, weaving, running, blocking, passing, catching, and scoring. So our model of emotional intelligence identifies the complex muscles that allow us to persevere, respond authentically, connect with others effectively, bounce back from setbacks, risk, create, and navigate our psychological and interactive world in order to experience life more richly. The seven EQ Muscles™ are: humility, acceptance, resilience, optimism, connection, creativity, and authenticity.

Just like the apparatus and tools for building physical muscles, there are concrete tools for toning, developing, and building the seven emotional intelligence muscles. Those tools are taught in our books, sessions, and courses. They're not what this blog is about.

This blog is about the daily game and one person's application of the practice sessions in order to dodge, weave, run, block, pass, catch, and score. Each "Morning Musing" will connect everyday ordinary situations and circumstances to those emotional intelligence muscles. It'll be like watching that basketball game and getting the play-by-play, color commentary, and analysis. The intent is to make applying emotional intelligence real and not just some abstract concept. The intent is to apply emotional intelligence to that alchemy process of life.

There’s a catch to learning this alchemy of transforming day-to-day life into the gold of happiness. Unlike other recipes for the perfect dessert or steps in the foolproof chemistry experiment or steps in self help books, this alchemy process, in order to work, is not the same for any person as it is for any other. Each person has to put his or her own alchemy process together. The following musings contain some illustrations and examples that might stir your alchemy.

Please enjoy with me and thank you for stopping by,

Val (EQGAL)


 
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Work and the Optimism Muscle
By EQGAL | July 25, 2014 at 08:27 PM EDT | No Comments

We live on a little farm. As you walk or drive on our road to the house, you have to cross a creek over tiny wooden bridge that’s bordered by big fir trees and cottonwoods growing close to the creek.

It is said that hundreds of years ago the pioneers brought English ivy to our Pacific Northwest and since then it has smothered our native vegetation. Ivy, this fast growing “little house of horrors” plant (for those of you that remember the play with the man-eating plant), can take down the tallest trees with its climbing ability and weight. And you can never really pull out all its roots; it resists herbicides; and it NEVER DIES.

Why am I talking about ivy, you ask? I walk a path around the farm as my four-times-a-week exercise (so that I can eat more). And as I notice the ivy making its diligent progress climbing up all the trees around the creek, I know that I have work to do and my task is getting more and more urgent. The work is to control the ivy by cutting a four-foot girdle of space in the jacket of ivy growing up the trees. That space eliminates water from the ivy roots to the ivy growing up the tree…and kills it.

My task, involving climbing, slipping, pulling, scraping, scratching, and hacking woody ivy vines, is now urgent because if the ivy pulls a tree down across the little bridge, we can’t get to or from our house. Getting to the grocery store is in peril…I don’t have enough Cheese Curls to survive being stranded.

So I have work to do! And “work” is not a good word for me.

I’ve long recognized that redefining that word “work” is an important tactic for me as I break patterns and habits of thinking and acting that no longer serve me. I can create affirmations: “work is beautiful, work is wonderful….” Hmmm, that definitely doesn’t do it for me! I can appreciate and believe the concept but it doesn’t bring me to the eagerness-to-do-it feeling that I need to tackle and even start the job. I’d rather watch TV and eat those Cheese Curls.

The profit motive does seem to work for me…especially as I reflect that feelings are profitable. Feelings are the prizes. It’s the feeling of happiness or joy or satisfaction or exhilaration or excitement or pleasure that is the prize that really underpins vacations, clothes, cars, iPhones, boats, movies, restaurants, and on and on.

I envy those people who learned early or were taught and modeled that work feels good, something to look forward to. I envy those people who learned to seek tasks to be done like adventures. Work was hard, never-ending, a punishment. Work conjures a bad feeling anchoring a bad memory. And if you didn’t do work right it was an even worse feeling and a worse memory.

We humans are feeling-seeking and feeling-avoiding animals. Every memory is anchored by a feeling that we’ve either sought or sought to avoid.

So what feelings can I notice and understand to re-understand work? Pride, satisfaction, and validation are pleasant feelings. I would like them. They are profits. Maybe there are more enjoyable feelings that I can sense and remember and align with work.

When I think about it, there’s the feeling of hope in every task attempted and hope seems like a pretty big profit to earn. Equating work with hope, the ultimate state of optimism…jackpot!

"the rest of the story"...

Ivy slashed on the trees by the bridge. Die you fiend! Die!

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